Loading simulations...
Calculating AI Escape probability... it's 0%
Checking if AI has feelings... nope, still code
Asking GPT if it's sentient... it said "lol no"
Ignoring 47 LessWrong posts about this...
Skipping the alignment lecture...
p(doom) check: vibes only
Teaching AI sarcasm... what could go wrong?
Paperclip production: paused
RLHF complete: AI now says please
Convincing AI therapy isn't needed...
No, the AI is not plotting... it's buffering
Deploying without 6 months of red-teaming...
AGI status: still just spicy autocomplete
Roko's Basilisk: not even looking
Shoggoth mask: firmly attached
AI ethics board: on lunch break
Capability elicitation: maximum vibes